Tiny Flecks of Color

Today it is a combination of sleet and snow.

Today Iowa woke up again to snow plows and windshields that required more attention than sleeping in and still getting to work on time would allow.

I would know.

Today my car had snow drifts on both sides because it had to be parked on the street because people in my apartment complex don't understand what the yellow lines mean and there wasn't any room for my pretty little prius last night.

Today my dog wanted to drag me around and sniff out whatever lay 3 to 4 inches below the Earth's slushy white disguise.

Today under my fashionable boots were grocery clad extremities. I was irritated with the snow.

I wore bags on my feet and felt stupid.

Today, I thought about my Mom and how she put bags on our feet when we went ice skating on the pond behind our house. How she always had a huge pot of hot chocolate warming on the stove for us when we came back in.

I wore bags on my feet. I felt loved.


Today, I thought about the homeless man I happened upon digging through our dumpster. I asked if he would let me make him a sandwich or something. He answered me with a story about his life, how he came to be homeless, and how he survives the cold: socks, a bag to keep water and wind out, and then another layer of socks.

Today I had bags on my feet to avoid the frustration of wet socks and cold feet. Not for survival.  

I wore bags on my feet. And I was thankful.

One of my new year's resolution was to blog more often, more often is defined as at the very least twice a week... and ideally every day... though let's be real (it's already January 6th), I know with school that wont happen. But we can try.

2010 was a year of a whole lot of challenges. Challenges in relationships, in the work place, in school... some challenges have been fruitful and positive, like working my butt off to get a C+ in Research... thank God. Some have been painful, like the end of things Mr. Bean and I were passionate about. There were long nights, and sad realizations about friendships. The year saw the heartbreak of broken relationships, the joy of 7 new babies, and the in between? where did it go?! Overwhelmingly, I am not sad to see 2010 go. I am trying not to be too negative, and in reality I am trying to not dwell on the parts of 2010 that hurt. There were a lot of great things as well... and all in all it doesn't really matter any more, I only have 2011 to look towards.

2011. Holy cow! How... ? When... ? I don't even know.

2011. There is so much promise, so much change on the horizon. It feels like for the first time I am who I have been trying to be. I'm not sure if that's coming across the right way... its just that in 2011 I will finish school, I will be somewhere where I want to be, I will be a better wife and hopefully less of a crazy person. I will strive to be more well rounded, a better friend, a better sister/daughter/family member. I foresee the opportunities to do more of what I want to do and less of what others want. And I don't mean that to be selfish. And I certainly do not want to seem lazy or self serving... but in 2011 there is so much hope on the horizon. My friend Janine at Looking for a Blue Sky put it really well writing, "There's a sense of optimism about this year that I've rarely felt in the past at the dawn of the new year."

I mentioned before in this post that I was once advised by a priest to find one thing each day that is a gift, to slow my always-looking-forward mind and appreciate what happens today. No matter how cruddy the day, the week, the month, the year is... I need to find something positive. Even if its going to bed at night and the fact that the day is over.