open my eyes Lord, help me to see

Posted by Annie On 9/28/2011 12:21:00 PM 1 comments

I've been gone. I've known it. I've thought of a million entries to blog about but for some reason there's been a block. I log on and stare at the screen and log off. Excuses? I don't really have any. I've had a complete lifestyle change. I've changed jobs, changed age group that I work with, changed schedules, changed homes, changed states...

My faith has taken a hit. There are some trying aspects of change, I am no longer surrounded by people who feed my faith the way it had been fed before. I'm much more on my own. I have had more emotional challenges, spiritual challenges... I am adjusting and while I normally think that I adjust well to change but maybe it's harder when it is my own change.

Anyway, something happened to snap me out of this funk. We'll see if it sticks...

Today has been deemed the best day ever. Well, aside from the day I married Mr. Bean and probably all the other great days I've had but whatever... that's not the point. Today I received the best email to grace my inbox. You can read about it on my other blog - this blog is all about my new career, don't be jealous it has been easier to write in this area than here.

Also, I applied for 3 jobs on Tuesday morning. Tuesday afternoon I got a phone call with a request for an interview. Awesome.

But! While these things are great, the point of me wanting to post on this blog... the tiny fleck of color, well maybe more the smack across the face that I needed to again "snap out of my funk" is this:

Yesterday I went to see a patient. 59 years old and at the end of her life. Cancer has spread throughout her body while her family has grown, her 3 month old grandson the newest member. When I called to schedule an appointment with the patient I asked her what type of music she prefers. "I listen to the christian radio station." she replied. And I spent time that night going over a few hymns.

The next day off I go to meet this patient, unaware of how my heart would be touched. I walked in the door and was greeted by the entire family and the pastor. We prayed with the patient and I started playing. The atmosphere was tingling. My body covered with goosebumps. It amazed me I would turn to a piece of music and the patient (without seeing what I was preparing to play) would say something that spoke directly to the song lyrics I was about to sing. The whole session just dovetailed between prayer and music and commenting absolutely perfectly. I have no idea how the patient could say that I ministered to her because it was my soul that left feeling nice and full and happy. The icing on the cake... while I was there the phone call came in asking for an interview for a job - absolutely an answer to a prayer. And then today I find out that during that time 20 miles away the patient I have been seeing for the past 4 months was having a visit with her social worker. I have been working very hard with this patient, she is a tough cookie. She's my "project patient"- I am doing a case study on her for my final academic project. She is exceptionally depressed, trapped inside a body overcome by Parkinson's Disease. She has become someone I love to see, I care very much about, and I will always remember. The email I received today (referencing what happened yesterday) felt like a direct message from God reassuring me that I am in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time.

...open my eyes Lord, help me to see...

All of these things could just be that I am having a great week... each of them a coincidence with the other...

but I feel otherwise. and for that, I am grateful.