Tiny Flecks of Color

"Woman was born to create...
in creating she becomes herself, accomplishes her destiny.
Her whole life is only an initiation into creative power.
To create is not merely to produce a work...
it is to give out ones own individuality."

-Jeanne De Vietin

Today has been the best day. Today I slept in a bit later than I had anticipated - it was a long weekend and motivation for pulling myself from my indulgently comfortable sleep was pretty much nonexistent. Mr. Bean left me early, despite my pleas for him to call in sick. I was left with a basset hound and a pillow.

Once I was up though, I found various reasons as to why I needed to stay home and do my own thing today. And so I did. I stayed home and baked and cleaned and wrote Christmas cards. I did projects that have been beckoning me from the far corners of my life that I don't get to visit often enough. I did the dishes in between baking experiments. I wrote Christmas cards with longer well wishes. I checked facebook and twitter less. I turned to Mr. Bean tonight with the realization that, "This is the most accomplished, productive, and happiest I have felt in a long time."

What a crazy realization. It was as if today I was able to let the creativity and experimental parts of me out. It wasn't glamorous. It also wasn't what many may consider to be "hard work" either. But it was that freedom to just let me creative juices flow. To get my hands dirty in projects I cared about. I was able to not just work, but to release the me that is so often locked away with a "real job" or school. 

I feel like I became myself today... I am sure that many will not share the same feelings as me and I am even more sure that others will think I am crazy. But I truly had one day to be blessed enough to be a stay at home wife/mom. I enjoy being able to take care of my home. I feel it is exceptionally important for a child's growth and development to have a parent at home. I want to be the active and a primary influence on my family, our home, and our lives. I have always wanted this. I have always known that that is a role I was made to fill. I look forward to a time (God willing) that it will be a viable option (financially, etc) for Mr. Bean and I. Today, I feel as though I was living my true calling. I was able to greet Mr. Bean with a hug and a kiss and a huge smile. We were able to do what we wanted to do together, rather than be forced into more work that hadn't gotten done during the day or both being completely unmotivated and struggling to unwind from the work day. It was just incredibly nice. Perfect even. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to just let myself be myself today.

What do you create... do... work, play, sculpt, paint, file, type, WHATEVER, that lets the real you come out. What draws out your individuality to share with the world? And when do you allow yourself the time to actually DO that activity? It's amazing, truly, how different I feel today than I have felt other days - not that I don't love school or youth ministry, don't get me wrong. But that sense of control over your life and the openness to let whatever it is inside of you out... the feelings that you accomplished today what you were supposed to, that you were right where you were supposed to be... it just makes your (my) thoughts and feelings change, it makes a world of a difference.

In similar news, my lovely Julia has started her own blog - letting her hilarious creative juices flow into the blog-o-sphere... check her out at: http://spacecadetjones.blogspot.com/