An update...

Posted by Annie On 12/30/2010 03:37:00 PM 1 comments

I woke up this morning...
dragged my congested, coughing, achy body out of bed...
stumbled into the bathroom...
burned out my cornea by flipping on the light (yeah... even the sun isn't up until at least 7:30)...
sat down and was greeted by this...

"This is because I love you. Forever. - Me"


This is why...
a) I love him
b) being up at 6am to go to an anatomy class was made a little better 
c) blogging makes a difference in the world

and then I looked back to the other side and saw this...


What am I supposed to do with this?




yeesh


The view from my toilet

Posted by Annie On 12/29/2010 08:16:00 PM 2 comments

Or the stool... if you're Mr. Bean's grandpa (I love it when older folks use cute terms for things). Or the john... if you're my Grandma. Or the crapper... if you're Julia. Or the porcelain god... if you are a drunk college freshman. Or the loo... if you are polite and British and possibly Joanne Frost (Supernanny) whom I love. Or the can... if you're... well I don't know anyone who refers to that but whatever. WHATEVER you call the depository for human excrement... this is what it looks like from mine.



Yes. I have a calendar hanging next to my toilet. So does my mother. I'm pretty sure my grandma does too. It may be hereditary.

The first thing I do when I wake up is use the bathroom. In that case, the first thing I read is whose birthday/anniversary/Saint day it is... (my grandma makes these calendars for everyone...they are Catholic calendars. I will never miss a feast day.) So while cards may be late... or non-existent... know that if you are on the calendar you are thought of.

Moving on.

As you can see... the toilet paper roll is empty. EMPTY! Where has all the toilet paper gone? I'll show you...


Now why, why oh why oh why oh WHY? Would the toilet paper be sitting on the edge of the tub.

I would say that in general I am a rational human being. I will also say that I realize that I more than likely use more toilet paper than Mr. Bean. I will also admit that I am currently out of my normal mental state due to sinusitis, antibiotics, and cough syrup. Read about that adventure here. I would further like to state that I have changed the roll for AT LEAST the last 3 new rolls.

The toilet paper dispenser has been empty since Monday. I for the first time in a LONG time did not use the last sheet. However, when I returned home from school this is the exact scene I was welcomed with. Over the past three days the TP has moved places a few time (we don't want it to get wet when we shower) but miraculously it has not yet found its way onto the holder.

It's not a problem to change it. It isn't hard. But its a matter of principle. It's toilet paper for goodness sake!

Sigh.

Why do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?! Well I am not going to succumb to the pressure of the paper! I will NOT put the paper in the holder. 



I suppose if this is the worst thing we passive aggressively argue about then we'll be just fine. We are set for life.. Not a big deal...
The toilet paper just won't be on the holder.
Ever.

She becomes herself

Posted by Annie On 12/20/2010 09:58:00 PM 0 comments

"Woman was born to create...
in creating she becomes herself, accomplishes her destiny.
Her whole life is only an initiation into creative power.
To create is not merely to produce a work...
it is to give out ones own individuality."
-Jeanne De Vietin
Today has been the best day. Today I slept in a bit later than I had anticipated - it was a long weekend and motivation for pulling myself from my indulgently comfortable sleep was pretty much nonexistent. Mr. Bean left me early, despite my pleas for him to call in sick. I was left with a basset hound and a pillow.
Once I was up though, I found various reasons as to why I needed to stay home and do my own thing today. And so I did. I stayed home and baked and cleaned and wrote Christmas cards. I did projects that have been beckoning me from the far corners of my life that I don't get to visit often enough. I did the dishes in between baking experiments. I wrote Christmas cards with longer well wishes. I checked facebook and twitter less. I turned to Mr. Bean tonight with the realization that, "This is the most accomplished, productive, and happiest I have felt in a long time."

What a crazy realization. It was as if today I was able to let the creativity and experimental parts of me out. It wasn't glamorous. It also wasn't what many may consider to be "hard work" either. But it was that freedom to just let me creative juices flow. To get my hands dirty in projects I cared about. I was able to not just work, but to release the me that is so often locked away with a "real job" or school. 

I feel like I became myself today... I am sure that many will not share the same feelings as me and I am even more sure that others will think I am crazy. But I truly had one day to be blessed enough to be a stay at home wife/mom. I enjoy being able to take care of my home. I feel it is exceptionally important for a child's growth and development to have a parent at home. I want to be the active and a primary influence on my family, our home, and our lives. I have always wanted this. I have always known that that is a role I was made to fill. I look forward to a time (God willing) that it will be a viable option (financially, etc) for Mr. Bean and I. Today, I feel as though I was living my true calling. I was able to greet Mr. Bean with a hug and a kiss and a huge smile. We were able to do what we wanted to do together, rather than be forced into more work that hadn't gotten done during the day or both being completely unmotivated and struggling to unwind from the work day. It was just incredibly nice. Perfect even. I am blessed to have had the opportunity to just let myself be myself today.

What do you create... do... work, play, sculpt, paint, file, type, WHATEVER, that lets the real you come out. What draws out your individuality to share with the world? And when do you allow yourself the time to actually DO that activity? It's amazing, truly, how different I feel today than I have felt other days - not that I don't love school or youth ministry, don't get me wrong. But that sense of control over your life and the openness to let whatever it is inside of you out... the feelings that you accomplished today what you were supposed to, that you were right where you were supposed to be... it just makes your (my) thoughts and feelings change, it makes a world of a difference.

In similar news, my lovely Julia has started her own blog - letting her hilarious creative juices flow into the blog-o-sphere... check her out at: http://spacecadetjones.blogspot.com/

Miracles

Posted by Annie On 12/10/2010 02:54:00 PM 0 comments

Some things may not be able to be put into words...


I have been waiting just about a week to blog about the miracle I was given the opportunity to witness last weekend. But maybe I should go back about 11 months.

These are my dear friends...
Julia, Myself, Mr. Bean, and Mikey

This picture was taken at a Mexican themed party the four of us had. Yes, we're a bit strange like that... :)

We met about four years ago. We did some real serious thinking...

and decided to be dearest of friends.

Julia is also a fellow youth minister with me. We tend to hang out a lot... at least when I am not in school. ANYWAY! Julia my sweet sweet friend had been trying to get pregnant, not in a barren womb St. Ann sort of way, but her and her husband were excited for a new stage in life...


One night on a retreat we each sat in the adoration chapel and prayed and prayed. That night as we got into our "honeymoon suite" a blow up mattress we've often shared together on various adventures we whispered in the dark what we prayed for... without knowing we shared a common request that she be a blessed with a baby.

Throughout the time period of Lent, Julia and her students had been participating in a program called The H2O Project. She had gone 40 days of only drinking water... a pretty big feat for a soda/juice/anything with flavor lover like herself. The weekend of Easter had arrived. Mr. Bean and I had planned to relax and stay in our area for the holiday and not go crazy trying to visit relatives. Julia and her husband's relatives are all local so a holiday get together seemed in store for the four friends. Of course this may or may not have had the intention of partaking in the "sacrament" (as my brother likes to put it) in celebration of the Risen Lord. As Julia and I shopped and talked about plans for the evening as well as happenings of life, she mused about not having yet been visited by her Aunt Flo yet that month. Immediately I of course spun into the head in the clouds, party planning, excitedly anticipating possibly squealing female that I can be... She needed to take a pregnancy test to be sure - BEFORE we carried out our planned festivities for the evening.

The test was bought with a lot of prodding and much anticipation of another let down. As I ushered Julia into the tiny bathroom of my one bedroom apartment, I started kicking myself wondering what I would say to make her feel better about the single faint line that would appear in that little window. This had been my idea... I'm in deep now. Suddenly my thoughts were broken by a shaky voice laden with anticipation and hope - on the verge of major freak out. "Annie!" was all Julia could say. Positive. It was positive.

December felt like an eternity away. Julia hardly broke the triple digits on the scale BEFORE she was pregnant, so by her final trimester you probably would have guessed she was only 6 months along. Even though I know she was uncomfortable and probably didn't (wont) believe me - she was beautiful. And I, I was astounded, excited and honored to be asked to accompany the party to the delivery room when it was time. The couple could only agree on a male name... so when the ultrasound was marked with "I'm a boy!" it was yet another dream come true. November was filled with last minute work in preparation for maternity leave and prayers from the soon-to-be great grandma for a speedy labor.

Somehow nine months sprinted by us. December came without snow but with much anticipation for the new little man. Julia was one day late and drained of all patience for her pregnancy. I was jolted out of sleep by the ringing of my phone. Groggily I answered, "Are you in labor?" - the only real excuse for waking me up - "They said my water wouldn't break, but it broke. I don't know what to do." Apparently it isn’t all that common for a woman's water to break... but hers had! I told her to rest while she could but let me know when t was time to go. 15 minutes later the jingle of my phone alerted me to the news that

"Contractions are about 5 minutes apart".

"That's crazy!" I said, “Is Mike up?"

"He's driving me nuts already..."

More was said, but expletives may or may not prevent me from sharing them with you. Texts end at 2:29am when they came to pick me up.

To be honest, I had no idea what to expect. I've never seen anything be born... not even an animal. I didn't even have to watch the stereotypical video in health class. What was I in for?

I was in for the opportunity to watch a woman do the incredible.

After being in the hospital only 8 hours little dude was born. I saw it happen! I kind of helped I guess though most of the time I was fighting tears and probably getting in the way. The hospital room was fairly quiet as I counted to ten. Mike and I stole shocked glances at each other over his wife's belly. Julia was a champion pushing (both figuratively and literally) through all the exhaustion and pain. And then...
 

She was stunned as they placed her baby on her chest.


She just looked at him with this look of wonder and amazement. And he?

He just stared at her.

I have never EVER witnessed something so amazing in my entire life. Julia and her son have given me a gift they cannot imagine. I am completely changed. I am inspired by her strength. I am moved by the miracle that he is. And I cannot help but think of all the prayer that has been answered in one tiny little human. I guess it's just breathtaking to step back and see the work of God that was put into motion (as we can see) just about a year ago... and really, all the little pieces that we don’t even know about... it's just awesome.