Tiny Flecks of Color

I work as the coordinator of youth ministry for two catholic churches. I love my job. Seriously. I love the teens. I love middle school students. They are just so much fun. And when you work with something as tricky, and fun, and surprising, and hard, and mysterious as faith... amazing things happen all the time. I love it. I love seeing the development of a relationship with the divine between these teens and God. I love their questions, and attention spans (even as short as they are), and their wonder.

That being said. I am also a student. I am getting an equivalency degree in music therapy. As a student I have to complete semester long practicums. This semester I am in a special education classroom in the high school. It is just as challenging as it is rewarding. I am humbled, bewildered, overwhelmed, and thrilled all at the same time. Its an awesome experience.

This past week's practicum session... was a gift from God.

The whole session was a whirlwind. We tried a whole bunch of new activities. I was playing the piano, leading singing, playing tone chimes, directing discussion, and tossing balls. Almost all at the same time. BUT most importantly I was given the opportunity to work closely with the most difficult client. No. Not the behavior disorder client. No. Not the client who doesn't want to participate. I worked with K. Client K... sits confined in a wheelchair. He is hooked up to a feeding tube and monitors. He only moves his left hand. When asked how we know if he likes something or not, the aides informed us that we just assume he likes something until he gets upset and indicates that he doesn't.

Great.

That's scary.

Oh and the first time we ever worked in the group I asked an aide to see if she could have him participate in an activity. As I handed her a maraca... she said, "Oh he's having a seizure right now..."

Great.

I will fully admit that I am a little nervous when working with clients with profound disabilities. NOT necessarily because of them, or their condition, but rather because I have to work in front of their aides. I am afraid of doing something wrong and making the aides mad or looking like an idiot. On the other hand, I was getting a little frustrated because the aides were not doing what I wanted them to do for a client. SO! Today, I had a chance to work one on one with Client K during an activity. I asked the aides for reinforcement of what I was doing... but I also just went for it! And He responded! Positively!! He scratched at the tambourine, he quieted down from the vocalizations he had been making earlier, and he did not make any indications that he was unhappy. When we played the guitar right up next to him, he exploded in laughter! It was absolutely amazing. I had not expected that. In a million years. He placed his hand on the guitar while we helped the other hand strum the guitar strings.

Probably what impacted me most, is that while we were playing the tambourine together. Just me and Client K, singing "We will rock you" with a tambourine... he turned his head and looked straight at me. We had eye contact for about 2 whole minutes. He just stared at me. And I just did whatever I could to look like I was thrilled to be there with him. To have the brightest affect, the happiest smile, the most welcoming and caring look.

Part of me wonders if there was anything going through his mind. I might daydream that He somehow knows whats going on around him, and that I made a difference on a mundane Tuesday afternoon at school... or, maybe there is nothing. Maybe there will never be anything...

But no matter what I did to change a moment in his life, He changed my life in one moment.


I think I am going to love this job.